Other People's Children
First, let me give credit to Dr. Lisa Delpit and her seminal book, "Other People's Children," for the title of this essay. I remember reading the book in teacher education and used it every now and again - specifically for a story about her daughter and learning/using Standard English throughout her day. While this issue of using Standard English for people in communities of color rather than their own dialects, for example Black Vernacular, is not the issue I am talking about in this essay, it is related. I am writing about an issue becoming more visible in recent days.
Today is March 14th, 2026 and two weeks ago, on February 28th, an American made and reports suggest American launched, Tomahawk missile, hit a girls' school in Iran as the United States and Israel began a bombing campaign that may or may not be war. That being said, the bombing was bad enough. The rhetoric afterward has become simply horrific. It is estimated that up to 160 young girls were killed in the bombing and the brazen response by American authorities is nothing short of reprehensible.
"Always a possibility", "America, unlike 'the terrorists' don't target civilians but they hide behind them and use them as shields", and the ever popular by our president, "there are reports the Iranians have acquired American tomahawk missiles somehow and used them on their own people to make it appear that we bombed children".
All of these are ludicrous, and even if "using children as shields" is an actual strategy - would it not be the responsibility of America's military to just hold off striking until the area was civilian free?
The stark reality of the responses to this incident, especially from our leadership but also their acolytes, is this - we do not see other people's children as our own.
Another example is our leadership's actions toward helping children living in poverty in the United States. With the Covid-era benefits for American households, we lifted between 3-4 million children out of poverty with the swipe of a pen. Equally so, we allowed them to plummet back into poverty by not re-approving the benefit last summer (2025). The Republican government let the benefit elapse. In the defense of letting the benefit lapse, some members of Congress cited not leaving a country in debt for their grandchildren. Again, what they didn't think of was other people's children.
But the most personal example of not seeing other people's children came through the 4 years my son played in a local youth basketball league. I was also his coach. We persisted for so long because I enjoyed teaching basketball and loved watching my son play. Each season grew heavier and heavier because I had to watch coaches and fans not recognize that those opponents are other people's children and not "opponents." They are 11 and 12 year old boys who are learning the game and want to see themselves successfully developing. What they usually didn't know is that other coaches don't see the game, this league and sports in general, the same way I do - and the same way I want them to see it at the beginning of their experiences with the game.
I know it may come across as sour grapes but it really isn't because I believe it really is okay to lose - and lose often when you have a mix of abilities on a team. But I want to lose fairly. Routinely, we would have 5 - 8 players while other teams had 10 or more because of the sign up process. Sometimes those teams were actually school teams who practiced every day and joined the league for opportunities to play. Or they were Club teams looking for the same opportunity. The issue for me is that these are players who aren't trying basketball to see if it is for them - these teams have chosen to play and commit to daily practices. Furthermore, when coaches stretch and often knowingly break rules, it is unfair and sets a terrible standard for their players. The worst part is the coaches tell their players to break the rules and the players don't even know they are breaking the rules.
The frustrating aspect of this behavior is that clearly the coaches and fans of those teams have forgotten that they are playing against other people's children who are affected by what is happening. If they did remember that part of the relationship, they might behave differently. But this is where we are now in our humanity, or lack thereof.
Maybe it will take some kind of large scale event to jar humanity's collective consciousness into remembering that the children they are killing, the children they allow to fall into poverty, and the children whose hearts are changed by a lack of compassion, are other people's children. But they are also their own.
Today is March 14th, 2026 and two weeks ago, on February 28th, an American made and reports suggest American launched, Tomahawk missile, hit a girls' school in Iran as the United States and Israel began a bombing campaign that may or may not be war. That being said, the bombing was bad enough. The rhetoric afterward has become simply horrific. It is estimated that up to 160 young girls were killed in the bombing and the brazen response by American authorities is nothing short of reprehensible.
"Always a possibility", "America, unlike 'the terrorists' don't target civilians but they hide behind them and use them as shields", and the ever popular by our president, "there are reports the Iranians have acquired American tomahawk missiles somehow and used them on their own people to make it appear that we bombed children".
All of these are ludicrous, and even if "using children as shields" is an actual strategy - would it not be the responsibility of America's military to just hold off striking until the area was civilian free?
The stark reality of the responses to this incident, especially from our leadership but also their acolytes, is this - we do not see other people's children as our own.
Another example is our leadership's actions toward helping children living in poverty in the United States. With the Covid-era benefits for American households, we lifted between 3-4 million children out of poverty with the swipe of a pen. Equally so, we allowed them to plummet back into poverty by not re-approving the benefit last summer (2025). The Republican government let the benefit elapse. In the defense of letting the benefit lapse, some members of Congress cited not leaving a country in debt for their grandchildren. Again, what they didn't think of was other people's children.
But the most personal example of not seeing other people's children came through the 4 years my son played in a local youth basketball league. I was also his coach. We persisted for so long because I enjoyed teaching basketball and loved watching my son play. Each season grew heavier and heavier because I had to watch coaches and fans not recognize that those opponents are other people's children and not "opponents." They are 11 and 12 year old boys who are learning the game and want to see themselves successfully developing. What they usually didn't know is that other coaches don't see the game, this league and sports in general, the same way I do - and the same way I want them to see it at the beginning of their experiences with the game.
I know it may come across as sour grapes but it really isn't because I believe it really is okay to lose - and lose often when you have a mix of abilities on a team. But I want to lose fairly. Routinely, we would have 5 - 8 players while other teams had 10 or more because of the sign up process. Sometimes those teams were actually school teams who practiced every day and joined the league for opportunities to play. Or they were Club teams looking for the same opportunity. The issue for me is that these are players who aren't trying basketball to see if it is for them - these teams have chosen to play and commit to daily practices. Furthermore, when coaches stretch and often knowingly break rules, it is unfair and sets a terrible standard for their players. The worst part is the coaches tell their players to break the rules and the players don't even know they are breaking the rules.
The frustrating aspect of this behavior is that clearly the coaches and fans of those teams have forgotten that they are playing against other people's children who are affected by what is happening. If they did remember that part of the relationship, they might behave differently. But this is where we are now in our humanity, or lack thereof.
Maybe it will take some kind of large scale event to jar humanity's collective consciousness into remembering that the children they are killing, the children they allow to fall into poverty, and the children whose hearts are changed by a lack of compassion, are other people's children. But they are also their own.